Stories on heartbreak, intuition and awakening

 

I wanna tell you a story.

 

A story of beauty, grace, tears, synchronicities, surrender and trust. A story of awakening.

 

There are life moments that need to be put on paper. Tears and words that need to be written. Emotions that need to be expressed.

 

Through the years, I’ve learned to trust the Universe. Every time a little bit more.  Every heartbreak, every unexpected turns bringing me closer to my soul. 

 

On a cold winter night, my relationship came to an end. My heart sunk at the thought of not sharing my life with this soulful man anymore. No more sacred mornings, no more goofiness, no more of his precious presence in my life.

 

I always found it unnatural how two people who share a life together can in the blink of a moment become strangers in a way. I write stranger, but I know we’ll never be like that. The beauty, grace, love and respect we gave each other in those moments meant the world to me and showed me the power of soul connections and a beautiful reflection of our relationship.

 

I am finding peace in the words of Nayyirah Waheed,

 

when you meet that person. a person. one of your soulmates. let the connection. relationship be what it is. it may be five mins. five hours. five days. five months. five years. a lifetime. let it manifest itself, the way it is meant to. it has an organic destiny. this way if it stays or if it leaves, you will be softer from having been loved this authentically. souls come into, return, open, and sweep through your life for a myriad of reasons, let them be who and what they are meant.

 

My heart has been broken but in the midst of all the sadness, I soar. The Universe is guiding me. I know.

 

A few days later, I was hosting a workshop on a cosy winter Sunday morning, on setting new intentions for the new year. The collective energy from the women who joined me just blew me away. We all felt it. These women who showed up, opened their heart, held space for each other - to be silent, to listen, to speak, to share, to reflect. As they were leaving the old town studio space buzzing from the high vibes we created together during this intimate morning, they spontaneously decided they would all come to my yoga class a few days later and we agreed to do a full moon ceremony. Just like that, I hold my first women’s circle. After the yoga class, we gathered around in circle, cosy on cushions and bolsters in the candlelit studio. Sharing openly about what it meant for us to be a woman, we hold space for each other to express what was in our hearts. We finished the night by writing down on a piece of paper what we wanted to let go of. We gathered outside by a fountain on this winter eclipse and full moon night, burning those papers filled with ink, heaviness, old stories and beliefs we no longer needed.

 

The day before, I was on Google searching for all things women’s circle. I was curious to learn more about how to host those gatherings. And just like that, I found Emily Kuser. She had written a guide on how to host women’s circle. Her words spoke to me, so I looked on her website and saw she was hosting a Women’s self-care training in a few weeks - three weeks later exactly. In Goa, India. She had this glow and something instantly connected me to her.

 

As I was reading the description of the course, my whole body lit up. A tingling sensation all over my body. My heart beating faster from excitement for the potential future plans. A full body yes. My intuition was so strong in that moment. An inner knowing. Like I already knew I was about to step into a life- changing experience. The days leading up to the full moon and eclipse, I had been feeling all the emotions and felt a deep connection to the moon. The strongest I’ve ever felt. I’ve always loved the moon and through the years I’ve been learning more about its power and magic. The moon is the feminine energy. As women, we are deeply connected to it. We often forget about it and function on autopilot. But in ancient times, women were guided by the moon- and aligned with their menstrual cycle.

 

In that moment, I knew. I would fly to India for the first time and have a transformative and healing experience. Those strong intuitive moments are so powerful - and somehow everything aligned - time and money. It was a powerful reminder that when I want something fiercely, I make it happen.

 

Three weeks and three planes later, I landed in Goa at sunset. Suddenly immersed in Indian life. Finding myself walking through a busy crossroad with my driver, stray dogs on the side of the road, the air warm and humid and the enchanting smell of incense in the lively streets as we drove through the winding roads. It all felt exhilarating. 

 

Those deep soul shaking moments of wild intuition only happened a few times in my life. Always guiding me to life-changing experiences. I felt it when I moved to Sydney at 20. When I fell in love in my early twenties. When I enrolled to my health coaching course. When I quit my job and flew to Bali to do my yoga teacher training. When I met and fell in love with my recent ex-boyfriend. And now India with the women’s yoga training. All those strong intuitive connections aligning me to my soul.

 

And so, finding myself in a luscious green environment with a group of fierce and open-hearted women, diving deeper into our feminine energy. I’ve had a few powerful and healing experiences during this intensive training. Most of them happened through breathwork and meditation. Releasing old wounds I didn’t even know I had, uncontrollable tears, sensations and visions felt in my whole body that were so intensely real. I also had an experience of reclaiming my power, of unconditional love for myself. Those experiences blew me away as I realised the power of bodywork. That’s why dancing, singing, expressing yourself, breathing, meditating can have a transformative impact on us. Even more so when experienced with a group of women. Something shifted for me in those moments. I found my shakti.

 

Since being back, I needed time to retreat in my bubble, to integrate all the learnings, the blocks and wounds removed, the letting go and the sacred connection with myself. What emerged from that is this super exciting “The Women Series” - a series of workshops on all things women. Something shifted since my break up, since India. I’ve got this fire in me - a fire that’s been there for years without knowing what to do exactly with it. And in some ways, it all seems to come full circle. The dots throughout the years are magically connecting.

 

Take your broken heart, make it into art.” A dear friend shared these Carrie Fisher words with me the day after my break up. I’ve written those words on a post-it that reminds me everyday where to put my energy. When our hearts gets broken, the energy can be channeled in very different ways. This time, I consciously decided to focus my energy on something that would bring life to my heart as I remember my desire to soar this year. So, I am doing my best to channel this heartbroken energy into something that matters dearly to my heart and soul. To awaken the heart and bodies of women so they can reclaim their intuitive power. And through this work, I heal myself at the same time.

 

I am not the same I was 10 months ago. I am not the same I was one or two months ago. Every time we meet a soul that will change our lives or experience something that will shake things up, we will be forced to expand- our love, our compassion, our curiosity and learn to keep some kind of inner peace and trust as we break down some barriers and limits beliefs along the way. The lessons and challenges are here to open the heart, not to close it. There is no growth, no love and meaning in hardening the heart when things get hard. Let’s keep our heart soft, shall we?

 

With that energy, I am hosting a Women's Circle and The Women Series where we'll explore all things women. I am so passionate about sharing the wisdom, we as women, all have within us. This is for local women who hate small talk and just want to talk about the Universe, connect to their heart and feminine power and who are looking for a community of like-minded souls.