Closing a Chapter Under This Full Moon Eclipse

With this eclipse and full moon, I close a chapter.

I was sitting at the cosiest and cutest bookstore cafe in Bondi Beach, Sydney - Gertrude & Alice. Drinking the most delicious chai while being surrounded by books. I started scribbling ideas in my notebook, of names for my new business project. I had just spent three months in Bali and completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training with the most incredible teachers and group that became my bubble family. The month & half immersed in a yoga bubble amongst the rice fields had just opened my soul to another world. I was still processing and integrating so much healing and transformation.

I came up with wild.happy.heart as the name of my new website and business in this little bookstore cafe. I was excited for the new chapter that had just started by me quitting my job three months earlier before flying to Bali to experience a life-changing month. I was just about to dive into yoga and coaching. I came back home a few weeks later and built my second website. Wild.happy.heart meant the end of The Green Sunshine, my first blog that I started in 2012. So much happened since those first few days of blogging on all things wellness and nutrition.

I became a health coach.

I quit my office job.

Became a yoga teacher.

Started my own business.

I explored and wandered Mama Earth.

I met like-minded souls based all around the world.

I became the crazy auntie to my two koalas.

I fell in love. And had my heart broken.

I found myself.

And my voice.

I awakened to a new feminine energy that was always within in the first place. Just slightly shy.

I surrounded myself with open-hearted women.

I healed.

I soared.

And I am expanding.

This change has been a year in the making. It’s more than time to shed my old skin, to show up fully - with my name. I’ve started feeling the desire to go with my name for my business at least a year ago if not more, but always felt a little bit of fear. I’ve outgrown the old parts of me. I’ve outgrown my business, mindset and words. It’s time to burn everything to the ground and rise like the Phoenix.

Like Danielle LaPorte wrote: “Metamorphosis is naturally destructive.” It can bring up fear to let go of parts of us, parts that became our identity. Letting go without having a net to catch us. Letting go without having a full vision of what’s to come. But sometimes, that’s exactly what we need to be doing. Letting go of the past, letting go of what’s been holding us back and what we’ve outgrown.

That’s why. I am celebrating the four years of wild.happy.heart and all the magic I’ve created under this name, the soulful and kind people I met, the comfort zone I expanded, the new things I tried, the creative fire, my first workshops, my first new moon nights, my yoga classes. It all started under the energy of my wild.happy.heart.

I am now saying goodbye as it is time to own my name, to allow space for new directions as I keep growing and evolving with my business.

For now. It’s a landing page under my new website until I finish creating my brand new one. If you’re not yet part of my mailing list, you can sign up there to stay updated with what’s to come.

Love & blessings to everyone who crossed my paths, the soulful conversations, the pep talks, the warm hugs, showing up to my events and supporting me in any way. It means the world.

Late Summer- That Season in Between and how to Take Care of Yourself

Late summer. That time between late August and the autumn equinox is an extra season in Chinese medicine. The great yoga instructor leading the class I took while in London was explaining a few things related to this specific time of the year and it reawakened that desire to dig deeper and get curious on the topic of yoga/ seasons and Chinese medicine. The element is earth. It’s a time when fruits and veggies are ripe and it is harvest season. Also a time to slow down and relax after the summer fire energy and before Autumn.

A few days later, back at home, I went to my monthly acupuncture session and he told me my spleen and stomach were a bit struggling- not surprising as it’s the two organs related to this season as well. He did some massages, cupping and put some needles for those two specifically. He asked me if I was overthinking much ... umm yes.

The last few weeks I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed, exhausted and my mind on overdrive. Thinking about projects, life and all of the things- like that new year feeling we often have in September with the back to school vibes- which I love! But trying to do all the things after the summer break and juggling a packed schedule, I’ve been too much in my yang energy and I've been left feeling a little ungrounded and heavy. My digestion hasn’t been the best. I've been bloated and swollen. And add the menstrual cycle in the middle of it (hello inner autumn!). I’ve felt a little all over the place. And all those symptoms confirmed what my acupuncturist was saying - that my spleen is indeed imbalanced.

I love that our bodies sync with the seasons and for women, also with the moon. The more I bring awareness and curiosity to how I feel emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually, the more I understand how my body works, and the more I expand my love and acceptance for all the multifaceted ways I hold within me at different phases. And the more devoted I become to heal and to balance my body and spirit in the best way I can - by being connected to my body, my emotions and my heart so I can recognize the signs and messages my body sends. I see self-care practices as bringing care, attention and love to my body and mental health. To nourish my whole being and to honour all parts of me. Our bodies are full of wisdom. Our bodies are not separate from our thoughts or emotions. It's all part of our whole being.

I am fascinated and passionate about ancient holistic medicines like Chinese medicine and Ayurveda that see the body, mind and spirit as one. When we look at an emotion, organ, life situation or physical imbalance, it is always interconnected with the other ones.

Yoga is a great way to move that energy around to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, to boost the circulation and life force energy (prana / chi) and to reduce stress and bring a sense of relaxation. So I'll make sure that I hop on my mat every day to move and circulate the late summer energy.

Moving our Bodies for Alignment

As I sat beginning of August, reflecting on my intentions for the month and how I wanted to be and feel, I wrote the words: Vibrant - Energized - Aligned. I have a ritual to set intentions at the New Moon and also monthly because it's my favourite thing. They have a bit of a different vibe and focus. The monthly ones have more of a general/ structured/ goal oriented energy as the new moon ones are more intuitive and heart felt and more of a focus of how I want my life to feel like and the energy I want to bring in. This summer, I wanted to focus on my health and wellbeing. I wanted to bring my body to a higher level of energy and strength to align with where I wanted to go with my life and business.

I’ve just completed a month of working out (almost) daily. I took a break 2 days while on my period as moving my body intuitively is important for me. One of my intention this month was to move my body daily so I would feel alive, strong, energised and toned. But the big intention was to connect body, mind and soul as everything is always intertwined. One of my desire was to bring more consistency, structure and take inspired actions with my life and business. It’s something I’ve been wanting to strengthen. My capacity to be more into action mode, not only when my creative fire showed up, but on a daily basis. I’m a dreamer and creative but for so long I relied on that creative energy to jump into projects and work. I also tend to get very excited and motivated at first and then lose my motivation half way. I just had enough and decided to show myself I could stick with something that would challenge me and that I had a deep desire to create.

So I have been working out every day, usually right in the morning. Not a crazy amount of time. I just wanted to have a goal that was doable and that I wouldn’t stop half way because it wasn’t realistic with my days. So I’ve been working out usually for 30 minutes every day. Sometimes less, sometimes more. The first few times I hopped on my mat, I told myself I would move my body for 10 minutes. That 10 minutes daily is better than a bootcamp class once a week and it would meet my body where I was. I ended up always working out for much longer as the sweat and endorphins would keep me going.

I’ve been loving reconnecting with my body. I'm  getting stronger and fitter, and the healing power of sweat is just the best -that feeling of red and alive cheeks. I’ve had more energy throughout the day, I’ve been meditating every day as well. Been dancing and going for walks more. My skin looks better. My mood is lighter. And the best part, my focus, concentration and drive have improved.

What I remind myself is that I am one - body, mind, soul. If I want to focus on one specific thing, I’ll need to take care of each part. Starting the morning by moving my body is getting me into action mode and giving me a boost for the rest of the day to focus and work on my business, get things done and take inspired actions because I feel that I’ve got this. I feel stronger in my body which has a ripple effect on my mind and spirit. I've been implementing other daily rituals or health practices on the side as well. 

The lethargy, stagnant feeling I’ve had the past few months has lifted. Some part is also linked to the fact I’ve been taking iron and zinc supplements as I was quite low on both, so these mineral deficiencies impacted my energy and mood. It feels like a veil has lifted. So if you feel lethargic, sad and depressed, maybe have a blood test done as I know lots of women in my circle have been quite low on those two as well. And then decide on what it is you want to create and bring your body with it.

The Bittersweetness of Life

There’s often a bittersweet part to life. I’ve been feeling it more this year and even more so the past few days. Nights with shooting stars, giggles, picnics, movies at the park and summer vibes. And at the same time, the memory of what was in the background. In my heart. Holding on to the past. Afraid that if I let go, I will forget and will lose the magical feelings I still feel within me when I reminisce about them.

Finding myself in the magic of a summer night filled with good friends, fairy lights and dancing to the sound of folk guitar and still, walking back home with big tears rolling down my face. 

The coexistence of moments of exhilaration and pure joy while at the same time feeling deep sadness in my bones. Soaring all the while going through hard times. Life is full of nuances.

I often see life through the lens of a story. I can live a moment and almost simultaneously have this vision in my head, of lines for a book or a scene in a movie. It’s maybe my creative side or the romantic in me. I also feel too much and love too hard, consumed by a "saudade" that is often present. I long for moments anchored in my heart, I ache for a future that slipped away right in front of me... or hasn’t come to life yet. I crave the laughs, the magic, the connection and I have a hard time not getting attached- to beautiful souls, places, moments. The art of letting go and non attachment is probably the one thing in yoga philosophy that I struggle the most with. We often talk about non- attachment and that letting go is the hardest asana of all. That there is nothing else than this moment right here, right now. But for a Scorpio like me - who feels so deeply and feels familiar in the depths of the ocean, it requires a lot of practice to come up for air, to the surface, to this moment. Feeling the intensity of life is my natural state almost. The highs and lows. I cannot suppress emotions, I cannot move on in a blink of an eye.

It’s contradictory in a way. I struggle with impermanence but at the same time rejoice with fresh new moments that bring a unique sense of magic and new levels of high.

I see life as a beautiful and intense storyline, which can be unsettling for others around me. But I don’t know how not to love with all my heart, how not see and feel the magic of a moment and want to hold on to that feeling in my heart forever. I want that cosmic connection to keep swirling in every cell of my body forever.

In the bittersweet moments, I go back to my healing. I dance, I cry, I make art, I write, I nourish my body, I listen to songs on repeat, I take myself on solo dates, I swim - I am a water baby and this is therapy for me. I prioritise slow living. I journal. I put my hands in the soil and take care of my plants, I read, I breathe, I meditate. I practice womb yoga to connect to my body, my intuition and shakti.

I am not afraid of those big feels. I don’t avoid them but instead welcome them. I don’t judge them as negative. They just come and go like waves. Sometimes the waves are smashing out of the blue, sometimes I can just surf them softly. And I know those moments are often followed by a creative spark, a strong faith or a wild fire within. As a highly sensitive person, I’ve learned to see my intense way of living life as a superpower. I sense people’s energy strongly, I notice the subtle beauty and the little things that make ordinary life extraordinary. My intuition guides me most of the time. I retreat in my own space daily to rejuvenate and have learned to create strong boundaries for my well-being. I process life events maybe more slowly and intensely than others. And most of all, when I love, I love with all my being on a deep soul level.

If like me, you are a deep feeler and sensitive one, create a little healing toolkit for the moments that may feel too much and for the regular self-care that you need probably more than others. Discover what it is that makes you feel grounded, calm and connected to your true nature. Know that you are not broken. Let go of what others may think of you and tend to your heart and emotional body. Embrace the bittersweetness of life. There is a unique beauty and aliveness that is intertwined in those moments.

Let the Magic Unravel: Reflections on Transformation

One of the reasons I love having a journaling practice is to be able to look back and know exactly how I was feeling at specific times. It’s a real treasure to have all these insights on how I was feeling and what was going on in my life. I love reflecting and growing. And my journal just help me to look back and see how much I’ve expanded. And as a visual person, insta is also a mini open journal as I share some parts of my writings, musings and life moments.

Too often, we skip the celebrations or reflection time in our lives. We rush into the next goal without pausing and reflecting about what we achieved, overcame, learned and enjoyed. The good thing about Instagram is that I can look back and remember exactly what was going on at each season of my life. Just like flipping through my old journals. 

June 2017 was a healing month. It shook me and I could feel something shifting :

“I keep having this feeling/ desire/ intuition about a big change coming up this year. Either a move, finding love or growing my biz. I feel something brewing and slowly forming into a miracle.”

Twelve days later, I met the most kind-hearted and soulful man. A love that took me by surprise in some ways, lifted me higher and expanded my heart immensely.

Dear Universe, I am ready for a big majestic wave of love, abundance, freedom, surfing vibes, yoga and all the magic I dream about.

"A storm was coming but that's not what she felt. It was adventure on the wind and it shivered down her spine."

- Atticus.

I wanted change. I was ready to let go of limiting beliefs, fears and doubts. I actively journaled to understand some patterns, I wrote down under the full moon what I wanted to release and let go. I was ready to create space for new beliefs, new expansion, new love.

A new chapter started, I can feel it. Letting go of some toxic energy - from people to thoughts and limiting beliefs. I will do a full moon ceremony tonight - letting go of what no longer serves me, so I can create space for more of the same high vibes in love, money, career, lifestyle, travels. Creating magic with the Universe.

At the time I struggled with expressing myself, lacked confidence and was healing some old relationships stories. I loved what I was doing- teaching yoga, hosting workshops and writing, but I felt something was missing.

Fast forward to a year later and when I think about who I was, I feel such a big shift. A change that is most noticeable from within. 

It’s also quite a funny thing and pretty cool as well, to connect the dots and to see how things unfolded in magical ways. I wanna tell my June 2017 self to feel all the feels and find peace and trust in the process. To fall in love with the unknown. By surrendering to what is, we allow the Universe to do it’s thing. I wanna tell her, that two weeks later after letting go of old sadness, of feeling confused and yearning for a majestic wave, I would meet someone really special who would bring me so much love and healing, who lifted me higher and showed me how a conscious, respectful and loving relationship look like.

I found some old journal entries and feeling quite in awe with what I felt at the time. I felt it coming. I felt this big storm and could feel that wild wave coming to me with good positive change. I’ve also manifested some of my desires and it’s so magical to see them coming to life. To see how connected I am to my intuition. Some desires manifested before the next new moon in June 2017, some are coming to life this year. All in divine timing. 

So much happened since last June. I’ve healed some old relationship patterns, I’ve met a soulful man, I’ve learned to express myself, to speak my truth and use my voice. I've gotten better with my boundaries, my desires and expressing what I want and need. I've realised my worth. I’ve expanded my heart by staying soft while going through heartbreak. I’ve followed my intuition and awakened to this divine feminine. This shakti. I’ve taken steps forward with my business and took inspired actions. I've manifested quite a few things on my vision board. And today, on the Summer Solstice, it feels like a good day to celebrate all that I became. To acknowledge the growth, the pain, the joy, the adventures. To trust once again the Universe and it's divine timing. Giving myself space to keep growing and evolving. To keep seeking a deeper connection with my soul.

On this summer solstice, what can you celebrate in your life? Pause and celebrate.

I'm sharing with you these reflections because it might resonate with you and maybe it's the spark to start a journaling practice, moon intentions or just a desire to pause and reflect. There's so much value in living a conscious life.

If you’re curious to dive deeper into your desires, to connect to yourself- your body, your feminine energy, awaken a confidence that comes from within, we can work together on bringing those qualities into your life. Feel free to reach out to me.

And if you want to set intentions, connect to your body, express yourself and feel energized and buzzing from good vibes, I am hosting a new moon yoga rituals night - mixing dancing, restorative yoga, oracle cards, intentions setting and finishing with a meditation to embody this new energy in your body and every cell of your being. It will be a monthly thing.

Happy Summer Solstice.


Musings on Instagram: @marisaribordy